Cat. #1033 (MFH #631) - As sung by Ollie Gilbert, Mountain View, Arkansas on October 28, 1969
VERSE 1
If you will listen I'll sing you a ditty
About th worse woman that ever I saw
When you hear it you'll say it's a pity
That ever I had such a mother-in-law
VERSE 2
Whatever I do she always false findin'
Wherever I go, she's always there
An' if I don't do everything that she tells me
Helps herself to a lock of my hair
VERSE 3
My life's been troubled, I cannot live happy
Open my mouth she puts in 'er ole jaw
I'd druther be sent to jail or to congress
Live my life with a mother-in-law
VERSE 4
She's so ugly she frightens th children
Whenever she walks down th street
She's got a mouth like a crack in a punkin
An' a hump on 'er back an' very large feet
VERSE 5
She took a fool notion that she was good lookin'
She's got th worst face that ever I seen
She went to have her picture taken
Th very first thing she broke th machine
VERSE 6
I said to her, can I marry your daughter
I didn't intend th whole family to wed
She picked up a bucket of water
An' taken a good aim, she throwed at my head