Cat. #1477 (MFH #631) - As sung by Bill Ping, Santa Rosa, California on September 20, 1972
VERSE 1
Now, if you will listen, I'll sing you a ditty
About th worst woman what ever you saw
An' when you hear it you think what a pity
That ever I had such a Mother-in-law
VERSE 2
Whatever I do, she is always fault finding
Wherever I go, why she always is there
And if I don't do everything what she tells me
She then helps herself to a lock of my hair
CHORUS:
My life is so troubled, how could I be happy
I open my mouth, she puts in her jaw
I'd rather be sent to jail or to Congress
As live one year with my Mother-in-law
VERSE 3
Now, she is so ugly she frightens th children
Never a time she goes on th street
Her mouth is just like a crack in th pumkin
She has a hump-back an' sech terrible feet
VERSE 4
But, she's got th notion she really is hansome
Her face is as wrinkled what ever I seen
An' when she had her last picture taken
Th very fist pass an' she broke th machine
CHORUS:
So, life is all troubled, how could I be happy
I open my mouth, she puts in her jaw
I'd rather be sent to jail or to Congress
Than live six months with my Mother-in-law
VERSE 5
I told 'er th day that I married her daughter
I didn't expect th whole family to wed
She quickly picked up a bucket of water
An' taking good aim, let it go at my head
VERSE 6
I hear that th --- a shooting at Creekmore
Th shots was so close it was almost a draw
I'll bet you ten dollars that nothing could equal
That iron-clad gun boat, my Mother-in-law
CHORUS:
O, life is so troubled how could I be happy
I open my mouth, she puts in her jaw
I'd rather be sent to jail or to Congress
As live one week with my Mother-in-law