One Piece of Baloney

Cat. #1352 (MFH #928) - As sung by Mary Stoutland, Fort Smith, Arkansas on July 11, 1969

An Italian, a Hebrew, an Irishman
Once in search of recreation
Tooking up from each
An allowance to spend a vacation
They got lost, way out in th woods
It was dark an' lonely
All their food gave out, except
One piece of baloney

Someone shouts, says I've got a knife
There's no use of cutting
If we do there isn't enough
Who'll give us a speeding
Ho, ho, ho, I think if we keep th baloney awhile
What ya say, say Tony
An' I'll try an' stay awake
And I'll watch th baloney

Nothing doing, Tony me boy
It might be to inviting
I suggest we all go to bed
So there's nothin' phoney
An' th one who has th nicest dream
Wins th baloney
Ho, ho, ho, I jest a had a nice'a dream
I think this morning at seven
I dreamed I die away
And up descended to Heaven

I go right thru th pearly gates
On a nice white pony
You no can beat a dream, like that
So, I win th baloney

Nost so fast, me bucko, me boy
I had quite a dream, myself
I died for over eating
I went up t' Heaven
And, O, what a greeting
Up came Peter, smiling an' said
If it ain't my old friend, Maloney
Now, you can't beat a dream, like that
So, I win th baloney

Vell, I know I have to admit
I know you aren't liying
Cause I dream't that both of you died
O, how I was crying
You vent up to Heaven an' then
Vhile I felt so lonely
I dream't that you weren't coming back
So, I ate th baloney