Sweet Scented Barber

Cat. #1583 (MFH #1039) - As sung by Charles Strayer Jr., Sarcoxie, Missouri on September 17, 1976

There once was a barber who lived in th city
He was a polished an' elegant coon
His hair it was curly, his heel double jointed
He was chief engineer in th barbers saloon
To watch him each mornin' t' handlen th razor
Th people would crowd around th door
And how they shouted when he'd slap on th lather
Such a sweet scented barber they n'er seen before

A young servant girl named Matildy O'Brien
Worked in a kitchen, a kitchen near by
On th way to market, th shop she was passin'
And up at th barber she cast a sheeps eye
Th barber he waited, till she was returning
Then to th door, he quickly would come
A box of palmaid he'd slip in her basket
Then drink her health, in a pint of bay-rum

When a young butcher boy, by th name of Hans Schneider
Heard of th barber, an' jealous he grew
He loaded a sausage with spidneys an' doughnuts
Straight at th sweet scented barber, th threw
Th battle began an' th slaughter was awful
Intent upon murder, at each other they rushed
But th barber he soon got th best of th butcher
Blowed out his brains with a lathering brush

When Matildy O'Brien she heard of slaughter
She made up her mind to commit suycide
She drank half a gallon of brandy an' water
Then she went down in th cellar an' died

Th sweet scented barber, he burnt up his business
Policy got an' th money let fly
He wasted, an' wasted away to a shadow
Then poisoned himself on a box of hair dye