Cat. #0577 (MFH #154) - As sung by Doris Venie, Springfield, Missouri on May 24, 1961
VERSE 1
Well, I came home the other night
Just drunk as I could be
Found a hat on my hat rack
Where my hat ought to be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that hat on my hat rack
Where my hat ought to be
Well, you blind fool, you drunken fool
Can't you never see
That's just a milk pail
My granny gave to me
Well, I've travled this world over
A hundred miles or more
But a sweat band in a milk pail
I never did see before
VERSE 2
Well, I came home the other night
Jest drunk as I could be
Found a coat on my coat rack
Where my coat ought to be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that coat on my coat rack
Where my coat ought to be
Well, you blind fool, you drunken fool
Can't you never see
That's just a blanket
My granny gave to me
Well, I've travled this world over
A hundred miles or more
But pockets in a blanket
I never did see before
VERSE 3
Well, I came home the other night
Just drunk as I could be
Found a head on my pillow
Where my head ought to be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that head on my pillow
Where my head ought to be
Well, you blind fool, you drunken fool
Can't you never see
That's just a cabbage head
My granny gave to me
Well, I've travled this world over
A hundred miles or more
But whiskers on a cabbage head
I never did see before
VERSE 4
Well, I came home the other night
Just drunk as I could be
Found a horse in my horse stall
Where my horse ought to be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that horse in my horse stall
Where my horse ought to be
Well, you blind fool, you drunken fool
Can't you never see
That's just a milk cow
My granny gave to me
Well, I've travled this world over
A hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a milk cow
I never did see before
VERSE 5
Well, I came home the other night
Just drunk as I could be
Found some boots under my bed
Where my boots ought'a be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come them boots under my bed
Where my boots ought'a be
Well, you blind fool, you drunken fool
Can't you never see
That's just a bed pan
My granny gave to me
Well, I've travled this world over
A hundred miles or more
But spurs on a bed pan
I never did see before
VERSE 6
Well, I came home the other night
Just drunk as I could be
Found some things in my room
Th sum of one, two, three
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come them things in my room
Th sum of one, two, three
Well, you blind fool, you drunken fool
Can't you never see
That's just my sisters
That came to visit me
Well, I've travled this world over
A hundred miles or more
But britches on your sisters
I never did see before