Cat. #0620 (MFH #154) - As sung by Boyce Davis, Lincoln, Arkansas on February 29, 1968
VERSE 1
I come home the other night
Drunk as I could be
Found a horse in my horse lot
Where my horse ought to be
Now come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that horse in my horse lot
Where my horse ought to be
Said, you damned ole fool, you drunken fool
Cain't you never see
Thats jest a milk cow
That Granny sent to me
I've traveled this wide world over
A hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a milk cow
I never did see before
VERSE 2
Now, I come home the other night
Drunk as I could be
Found a coat on my coat rack
Where my coat ought t' be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that coats on my coat rack
Where my coat ought to be
Said, you damned ole fool, you drunken fool
Cain't you never see
That's just a blanket
That Granny sent to me
I've traveled this wide world over
A hundred miles or more
But buttons on a blanket
I never did see before
VERSE 3
Now, I come home the other night
Drunk as I could be
Found a hat on my hat rack
Where my hat ought to be
Now come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that hat's on my hat rack
Where my hat ought to be
Said, you damned ole fool, you drunken fool
Cain't you never see
That's just a milk pail
That Granny sent to me
I've traveled this wide world over
An' I been from shore t' shore
But a sweat-band on a milk pail
I never did see before
VERSE 4
Now, I come home the other night
Drunk as I could be
Found some boots under my bed
Where my boots ought to be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come them boots is under my bed
Where my boots ought to be
Said, you damned ole fool, you drunken fool
Cain't you never see
Thats just a bed pan
That Granny sent to me
I've traveled this wide world over
A hundred miles or more
But a spurs on a bed pan
I never did see before
VERSE 5
Now, I come home the other night
Drunk as I could be
Found a head on my pillow
Where my head ought to be
Now, come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that heads on my pillow
Where my head ought to be
Said, you damned ole fool, you drunken fool
Cain't you never see
Thats just a mellon
That Granny sent to me
I've traveled this wide world over
An' I've been from shore to shore
But a mustache on a mellon
I never did see before
VERSE 6
Now, I come home the other night
Drunk as I could be
Found a thing in my wifes thing
Where my thing ought to be
Now come my little wifey
Explain yourself to me
How come that thing is in your thing
Where my thing ought to be
Said, you damned ole fool, you drunken fool
Cain't you never see
Thats just a carrot
That Granny sent to me
I've traveled this wide world over
An' I've been from shore to shore
But a head on a carrot
I never did see before