Cat. #0696 (MFH #154) - As sung by Tom and Phillis Aley, Ozark, Missouri on February 27, 1969
VERSE 1
When I come home the other night
So drunk I couldn't see
I found a horse in th stable
Where my horse ought'a be
So, I says to my wife,
Explain this thing t' me
How come a horse in th stable
Where my horse ought'a be
O, you blind fool, ya crazy fool
Can't ya plainly see
It's only a milk cow
My Grandma sent t' me
Well, I've roamed th whole world over
A thousand times 'er more
But a saddle on a milk cow
I never saw b'fore
VERSE 2
O, when I come home the other night
So drunk I couldn't see
I found a coat on th coat rack
Where my coat ought'a be
So, I says to my wife,
Explain this thing t' me
How come a coat on th coat rack
Where my coat ought'a be
O, you blind fool, ya crazy fool
Can't ya plainly see
It's only a crazy quilt
My Grandma sent t' me
Well, I've roamed th whole world over
A thousand times 'er more
But buttons on a crazy quilt
I never saw b'fore
VERSE 3
O, when I come home the other night
So drunk I couldn't see
I found a head on th pillow
Where my head ought'a be
So, I says to my wife,
Explain this thing t' me
How come a head on my pillow
Where my horse ought'a be
O, you blind fool, ya crazy fool
Can't ya plainly see
It's only a cabbage head
My Grandma sent t' me
Well, I've roamed th whole world over
A thousand times 'er more
But a mustache on a cabbage head
I never saw b'fore