The Gol-Darn Wheel

Cat. #0732 (MFH #232) - As sung by Glenn Orhlin, Mountain View, Arkansas on May 29, 1969

I can ride th wildest bronco
In th wild an' wooley west
I can rake 'im I can brake 'im
Ride 'im to his level best
I can handle any cattle
Ever wore a coat o' hair
An' I've had a lively tussle
With th tarnal grizzly bear
I can rope an' throw a longhorn
Of th wildest Texas brand
An' at Injun disagreements
I can take a lead'n hand
But I fin'ly met my master
An' he really made me squeal
When th boys put me a straddle
Of th gol-darn wheel

It was a tender foot who'd brought it
While he was on his way
From this land of freedom
Out t' San Francisco Bay
He tied it at th ranch house
T' get outside a meal
Never dream'n that us cowboys
Would monkey with his wheel
There was old Arizonia
An' there was Jack M'Gill
They said, I'd been a brag'n
Way to much about my skill
They said, I find myself against
A different kind a deal
If I would get a straddle
Of that gol-darn wheel

Such a slam against my talent
Made me madder than a mink
I swore that I would ride it
For amusement or for chink
That it was just a plaything
For th kids an' such about
They'd have their I D shattered
If they'd lead th critter out
They held it while I mounted
An' I gave th word t' go
Th shove they gave t' start me
Wer'nt unreasonably slow
But I never spill't a cuss word
Never give a squeal
I was build'n reputation
On that gol-darn wheel

Well, th grade was mighty slope'n
From th ranch down t' th creek
I went a gally-flute'n
Like a crazy light'n streak
A whiz'n an' a dart'n
First this way an' this that
Th dern contravence wobbl'n
Like th fly'n of a bat
I pulled up on th handles
But I couldn't check it up
I yanked an' sawed an' hollered
But th dern thing would'nt stop
I then I sort'a meechened
An' by brain begin t' steal
That th devil had a mortgage
On that gol-darn whell

Well, I was sorta dim an' hazey
Rememberence of th stop
With th world a'go'n 'round
An' th stars all tangled up
There came an inter-mission
That lasted till I found
I was ly'n at th bunk house
With th boys all gathered 'round
An' a Doctor was a saw'n
On th skin where it was ripped
Ole Arizona whispered
Well, ole boy, I guess you're whipped
I said, that I am busted
From sombrero down to heel
He grinned an' said, you ought'a see
That gol-darned wheel