Cat. #0579 (MFH #65) - As sung by Doris Venie, Springfield, Missouri on May 24, 1961
VERSE 1
I'll sing you a song about a burglar man
Who went to rob a house
He crawled in th window, got under th bed
Quite as a mouse
About nine o' clock an old maid came in
I'm so tired, she said
An' thinking everything was alright
She forgot t' look under th bed
VERSE 2
She took out'a 'er teeth an' 'er big glass eye
Her hair came off her head
That burglarman had nineteen fits
When he came from under th bed
The old maid, she never hollered
She never said a word
Just grabbed that burglar man around th neck
An' in his arms she purred
VERSE 3
I've got a gun, a revolver too
To th burglar man, she said
An' now young man, if ya don't marry me
I'll shoot off th top of your head
He looked at 'er teeth an' 'er big glass eye
He looked at 'er false hair too
An' then he said to this old maid,
For Gods sake woman shoot